Old Mom Diaries

February 3, 2018

A Letter to my Son on his Fifth Birthday

My Sweet Boy,

I see you. I see you clearer than anyone who has ever met you. How, you ask? Because I see so much of myself in you. As you approach your fifth birthday, I hope you know how much I love you. Every day. Good days. Bad days. Every single one, I love you with my whole heart.

You work so hard to make every new tower and every new car just right. You have your plan in your head and you do not like it when anyone tries to change your plan. But as a four-year-old, you don’t really have the tools to explain that to anyone yet. Time has taught me how to kindly tell people to butt out of my plans, and how to listen when someone has a better plan. This year, I will try to show you how.

In so many ways, you have been ready for kindergarten since you were three. You have been excited to start just like the big kids after when you realized that’s why those they weren’t at daycare anymore. You have been an enthusiastic learner since you were two. “He knows his letters and sounds better than most of the big kids,” they told me at daycare. Now at four years old, you have counted as high as 212, or maybe higher, but that’s when you got bored when you were with me. You know all your letters, sounds, shapes, colors and are already learning sight words and how to sound out words. And Daddy and I have never pushed you to do any of those things. You push yourself because you love learning. My boy, that was me so many years ago. And I loved school and learning so much, that I never left. From the time I was 10 years old, I knew I was going to be a teacher. When I was 16, I picked my subject – music. And I’ve been in school ever since. 37 years and counting. I really hope when you get there, you love school as much as I did. I know how much you love learning, so really I hope that school loves you.

Your shyness. When I ask you to say thank you to the cashier at the store and you grunt, I feel it in my soul. Or when I ask you to say hello to your great-uncle who you have not seen in a year and you hide behind my leg, I feel that too, my son. Because that wasn’t just four-year-old me, that is still 41-year-old me. I know you may never be comfortable talking to people outside of your circle, God knows I’m not, but I do hope to teach you how to be polite and kind to strangers, even if it feels a little peculiar. It lets people into your circle. More importantly, it warms your heart, and theirs.

Always remember how strong you are, even when you don’t feel it. I love the saying, “Fight like a preemie.” You fought, Sweet Boy. I believe in my heart that even in the womb, you knew the options were: join us early and fight or join your Grampa Jimmy in Heaven. You chose to fight. And in these first five years, you’ve had some health issues that are more prevalent in preemies. You’ve dealt with asthma and acid reflux, but you are so close to growing out of all of that. You had a cleft in your larynx. That’s a pretty big deal, but you learned to accommodate your eating and drinking habits to live a healthy life. Most kids with your size cleft need a feeding tube. You learned how to pace yourself before we even realized you had the cleft. Three surgeries later you are all fixed. You are so incredibly strong. Remember that.

Most importantly my Sweet Boy, remember that I always love you. You may not like it when I turn off the iPad, or say no to a second cookie, or make you clean your room. But I do those things because I love you. And I always will. Happy Fifth Birthday, Sweet Boy

Love always and forever,

Mommy

Photo by Will Clayton

Facebook Comments Box

January 25, 2018January 25, 2018

Staying Positive with a Willful, Adventurous, Stubborn Daughter

I’ve seen all the memes about surviving a daughter. People send them to me because they know my daughter. Her strong will now will translate into being a strong woman later. And all those memes are great reminders for about 30 seconds. But when you are living with a willful daughter, an adventurous daughter, a stubborn daughter, you need more than 30-second reminders.

Here are a few things I like to remember when I’m in the moment with my Girlie. And we have a lot of moments.

1. For the days when she won’t keep her clothes on:

Body image can be a tough thing for young girls. And for the moment she is very comfortable with her body. She loves playing and drawing on her round tummy. She loves feeling her toes in the sand or the muddy puddles (thanks, Peppa). She’s perfectly happy potty training in just her new undies in the middle of winter.

If I start telling her to cover up, what will that do to her now perfectly confident body image? For now, I’m proud of her confidence, and admittedly, a little bit jealous.

2. For the hour-long tantrums:

Girlie has been changing her sleep schedule this month. She’s close to three, and I can’t expect her to sleep 15 hours a day forever. But the changes have come with some mega-tantrums.

Last week was especially memorable. It was bedtime. She was in her PJs. I had the stories ready. She was not ready (really, she was well-past ready). My adorable little girlie screamed that she wanted to go downstairs for well over an hour. I calmly waited her out. I read stories to her stuffed bear and sang songs to her dolls. She kept going. My husband came up to make her laugh. But humor was not breaking this tantrum. I went into my room, kept the door open and started playing Sudoku on my phone. She kept screaming for a bit, but then she came over to see what I was doing. Aha!!! She liked the numbers and asked if she could sit with me- with a talking voice. We cuddled up on my bed and I let her put some numbers in the puzzle.

She was calm and ready for bed. So what made this miserable bedtime worth it? After her story, Girlie gave me the biggest hug ever and a kiss on the cheek and told me I was her best friend. Well, best friend, I really hope this night is a predictor of two things. First, I hope we will always be best friends. I hope you know deep in your heart, that I am here for you during the good, the bad and the ugly. Second, I hope you will still have this stubborn streak when you really need it- when peer pressure becomes a real thing. Be strong little one.

3. For the climbing adventures:

Girlie is a climber. Monkey bars – no problem. Kitchen counters – check. Giant rocks- yep, those too. I always watch her carefully, and I’m always right behind her if she falls. She doesn’t though.

Since I realized what a good climber she is, I’m actually kind of happy for her. My Girlie is an absolute mini-me, and I’m 5-2. She has a lifetime of stretching and climbing ahead of her. So I’m happy that she’s good at it.

4. For the days when she is bossy:

Girlie loves to tell everyone what to do. She’s closing in on three, so I think that’s to be expected. This week she was even bossy to the bath toys. “You’re a bad, bad monkey. You don’t live in the water. You live in the trees. Now sit right here criss-cross applesauce.”

Most of the time, she sounds like a little teacher, but sometimes she gets really pushy. It irritates me, but it really gets to her brother. She ends up starting a lot of arguments between the two of them. My husband and I don’t try to stop the bossiness. We both know it’s a phase that is common for kids her age. But we also want her to become a good leader. We try to help her find kinder ways to tell people what she wants, but we let her express herself.

Girlie could be a future teacher or business leader. She will need the tools to express herself with confidence. I’ve always found that the bosses that give passive instructions get frustrated when they are not followed and that frustration comes off as nastiness. Unfortunately, that quality seems to be more prevalent in female bosses. What if we started teaching our daughters to clearly and confidently express themselves from an early age? Maybe we could shape our girls to be better leaders. I think it’s worth the effort.

5. For the days when she creates a death trap out of the furniture:

Recently, Girlie started flipping her toddler bed over to make a slide. She started it as a slide for her stuffed animals, but the second time she builds this contraption, she decided to give it a try herself and ended up with a bloody lip. And yes, she recreated her slide again for her brother to try on another day. On that third day, we purchased a twin bed that she can’t flip over.

While I was completely horrified when I saw her slide, I must admit, it was a very clever idea. She gets lots of clever ideas that terrify me. Some are safer than others. Like when she tried to put one chair on top of another because she couldn’t reach the cookies with just one chair. Not as safe. But when she figured out how to make a see-saw out of an old board, you’ve got to tip your hat to the girl, especially since she’s never been to a playground with a real see-saw.

Girlie is discovering some pretty decent engineering concepts. She’s keeping the hair coloring industry in business by giving me a million grays, but she’s really using her noggin. She just needs really close supervision.

Look, every kid is different. Mine can be a handful. But as her parent, I want her to grow up to be the best person she can be. And that means loving her for all her strengths and weaknesses. It also means that a quality that may be trying on her mother could turn into one of her greatest strengths. So moms, just like the memes say- be strong, we will all get through it.

Photo by Citril

Facebook Comments Box

January 21, 2018

Surviving the Winter

Here in Connecticut, we have had a brutal January. Temps have been way too cold to go outside. We’ve had a few decent snow storms already. It is really difficult for the whole family when the kids have limited time outside. You really can’t send an asthmatic kid out in 10-degree cold and my couches are pretty tired of my two little jumping beans. So what are some winter activities that we do to stay active when it is just too cold to go outside?

1. Children’s Museums

There are a few great children’s museums near us. The Connecticut Science Center in Hartford is great for building activities and discovery. The Children’s Museum of Southeastern Connecticut is a smaller museum with lots of pretend play areas. But our favorite is the Providence Children’s Museum. They really have a great selection of pretend play and building activities and my kids can stay entertained for a good 3-4 hours here.

Children’s museums are a great play opportunity for your kids. They have “New to them Toys” that are exciting to your kids when they are tired of playing with all the things you just got them for Christmas. Many offer educational programming like science experiments (that you don’t have to clean up), or history lessons, crafts or song circles. It’s a great way to expand your kids’ experiences beyond what you like to do.

Worried about the cost? Many offer discounts through library passes, grocery store cards, military families or teacher associations. Last year my kids went on a field trip to the Providence Children’s Museum through their daycare. They came home with coupons for our next trip. If you have a favorite, memberships are also a great way to save. Most of the memberships I’ve priced out pay for themselves after 3 or 4 trips. And there are usually other perks with it- birthday party discounts, magazine subscriptions, camp scholarships.

2. The Library

When I was a kid, I loved the library. I was a voracious reader. I would take out about 10 books on Saturday morning and have most of them read by Sunday at supper. But here’s the thing- today’s libraries are so much more than just books. They have really fun toy areas. Sometimes my kids argue about which library we should visit- the one with the puppets theater, the play kitchen nicer than my real kitchen or the one with soooo many Lego‘s.

They also offer great educational programming. I really hate doing crafts at home. I spend more time prepping and cleaning up than they spend doing the craft, and it never looks like it does on Pinterest. So why not let the library do the work for you? Some libraries bring in presenters from zoos or operas or science labs to really get kids interested in new ideas. And you don’t have to stick to your local library. You may not be able to borrow books, but you can certainly read there and take advantage of all they have to offer. Trust me- they want you there.

3. Grocery Store Scavenger Hunt

I found this idea on Pinterest, and it is a fun way to take an ordinary weekend chore and turn it into a fun activity.

Dress the kids up before you go as some sort of seekers. Pirates, safari hunters, archeologists. Whatever you have. Then print out pictures of whatever is on your weekly grocery list. Give each kid a few pictures and have them keep an eye out. And give them a prize at the end for finding everything on their list. I usually go with Play-Doh. I would recommend doing this early in the morning when there aren’t a lot of people in the store. My kids tend to get loud and wander more than a cart length away when we play Scavenger Hunt, so avoiding crowds keeps them safe.

4. Build a Living Room Fort

I usually let Dad handle this one. My kids would re-purpose my couch cushions every day if we let them. Trampoline Tuesday, Whack Your Sister Wednesday, Speedway Saturday. I’m usually the one telling them to clean it up, so when we do decide to make the living room fort, I let Dad be the good guy. It’s a really simple way to make the same old living room transform into something new. That really is the key to surviving the winter. Kids get bored doing the same thing every day. They need something new and fresh, and they really need to get moving.

Remember friends, 40-degree weather is just around the corner (70 degrees is a few corners away), and there are ways to survive the cold that doesn’t involve watching Nick Jr. all day long. Stay warm.

Photo by j-dub1980(THANK YOU FOR 100k+ Views)

Facebook Comments Box

January 15, 2018

#31 – It’s Just Not Fair!

You may think that I’m writing this after some sort of toddler fit. Nope. Old Mom is having her own toddler moment and I just need to vent, because our family sleep situation is just not fair.

I was a great sleeper. Every night I went to bed when my parents told me to. I went right to sleep unless my sister was feeling a little chatty. But even on those days, I fell asleep to her chatter. I happily took a nap every day until I went to school. And even after I went to school, I took naps on the weekend. I wasn’t just a great sleeper – I was the sleeper that every parent dreams of.

Fast forward forty years.

My kids are not good sleepers. Sweet Boy had a lot of medical issues that made it difficult for him to sleep as a baby. As a toddler, his asthma medications kept him wired way beyond when he should have been going to bed. Now as we are preparing him for kindergarten, the boy spends hours after his “bedtime” building with his different styles of blocks and reading his hidden pictures magazines. There are many nights that I fall asleep before he does.

Now girlie was a much better infant sleeper- except for that 16 teeth in 8 months period. But the toddler years have not been so successful. She likes to explore at bedtime. She will go into her brother’s room to play with his toys. Or sometimes she’ll go into my room and re-sort the laundry. My favorite though is when she goes into the bathroom to try every toothbrush. Really what she’s doing is killing time until her brother’s bedtime so she can play with him for a little longer.

Nap time is a joke in the old mom house. They will not sleep if they are on the same floor. One child needs to sleep on the couch downstairs or they will just play the whole time. And they try to be sneaky about it. One kid tiptoes into the other kid’s room and they gently close the door. Then they remind each other to whisper so they don’t wake mommy and get in trouble Seriously?!?!?!?! They slam doors and scream like banshees all day but they actually remind each other to whisper so they can play at nap time.

So now what?

Believe me, I know that each kid is going to have a different sleep schedule, but my kids are so obviously tired that they need more sleep. They don’t want to get up after a late night. They whine and tantrum when they don’t nap well. I don’t have any answers for getting them to sleep better because I really don’t understand it. I love to sleep. When I’m tired, I sleep (well now with these two I sleep or have a coffee). I’m trying to get their schedule more consistent. We have a bedtime routine with stories and songs, hugs and kisses. I’ve read the articles. I’m trying all the best practices. But I just can’t relate.

All I can do is remind myself (again) that this is a phase that will pass. Also, I need to remember that there is a positive side to all of this. They are playing together. They really are great playmates. I’m a little nervous about them plotting together in their teenage years, but for now, it’s all good stuff as long as daddy can stay up with them at night. Because old mom is going to sleep.

Facebook Comments Box

January 5, 2018January 5, 2018

#30- A Momentous Day

Thursday, January 4, 2018.

I want to remember this day for the rest of my parenthood. On this day, my two kids played nicely upstairs, by themselves for over an hour. I managed to get my graduate class finished while my husband got his morning internet checking routine finished. And the whole time the kids played nicely. We are hunkered down during a blizzard, so that made this day even better.

Over the last four and a half years, the kids have needed supervised play. They were too rough, too curious or too fearless. But they are growing up (tears). They can do a little more for themselves and they know when to ask for help. Girlie actually called downstairs for me to take away the pair of scissors she found in the bathroom because she’s not supposed to play with scissors. Six months ago, we would have needed to get her stitches.

Now, I’m not going to lie… when I went upstairs, it looked like a bomb had gone off. Every room was scattered stuffed animals, K’Nex sticks, blankets, magnet blocks, clothes, and too many other things to mention. The mess was beyond the point that they could clean it up. It took me about 45 minutes to get things almost back to normal. But it was worth it.

So worth it

In terms of age, I think my kids are at a great age to play together. Girlie can start building things with Sweet Boy‘s different types of blocks, and he is at a point where he is willing to share them. Also, they are getting better at talking out there issues. Not perfect, but better.

But here’s the best part of the day for me. My kids like each other. They really like each other. I could hear them giggling together and sharing and asking each other to take turns nicely. They were singing together and going through stories together. And I’m sitting here finishing this post on Friday and they are playing nicely again. They like each other and there’s no better feeling.

Photo by El Tuercas

Facebook Comments Box

January 3, 2018January 3, 2018

5 Budget Friendly Ways to Make Healthy Meals for Your Picky Eaters

I try to eat healthy. I feel better when I do, and I know it’s something I can do to give my kids the best mom around. There are a few years of unhealthy habits I need to fix, but I’m doing it slowly with real livable habits.

I tend to use clean eating habits, as much as possible. I’m not perfect with it, but I do as much as I can. Before I tried clean eating, I was very intimidated by the cost, but I have found a few ways to make it affordable. I was also worried about whether or not my picky eaters would eat the same foods. Well, we’ve found a few compromises that make us all happy. Are there nights when they have pizza and I have one of the clean meals I’ve got packed in the freezer? Absolutely. But we make it work.

Here are a few ways I make it work for my family:

1. Eggs

Eggs are really cheap right now, especially if you shop around. I get a dozen for less than a dollar at Walmart. I go through phases with eggs. Sometimes we do eggs for dinner. I just scramble them up with a little cheese, and when I plate them, I add peppers and onions to mine and extra cheese for the kids.

Sometimes I like eggs for breakfast with a piece of fruit. I’ll make a few days worth of hard-boiled eggs and keep them in the fridge. My favorite mom-hack for hard-boiled eggs is this little cooker. I make seven eggs at a time and I can just set it and move on to something else. Because if your kids are as busy as mine, waiting for a pot to boil is not really feasible.

2. Frozen vegetables

If you shop around for frozen veggies, you can usually find a good store brand blend for under a dollar. And those bags tend to last our family a few different meals.

My favorite frozen aisle find is the pepper and onion mixture. Like I just mentioned, I can just add some to my eggs, or I can throw it in the crockpot with some tomatoes and chicken. I also add them to my chili for extra veggies.

The basic corn, peas, green beans and carrot mix is another staple in my house. You may be thinking that’s too starchy for clean eating, but since my son usually picks mostly carrots and corn for his plate, while my daughter likes the peas and corn, that leaves the green beans for me.

I also use the California Mix with pork in the crock-pot. Pork is one of those meats that I find to have a huge price differential. Some stores the regular price is around $4 a pound, and some it’s around $2 a pound. So I stock up when I visit the $2 a pound store (here in New England that would be Market Basket). Back to my recipe (sorry folks, I’m not a measure it out person- and nothing tastes the same any time I make it). I add some honey, garlic some balsamic vinegar and a bit of low sodium soy.

3. Crock-Pot Lunches

Every Sunday I make a Crock-Pot full of something that will be my lunch for the week. This is where I use the ingredients that my picky eaters won’t eat. They eat at daycare, so I don’t need to plan for them. A few favorites- Italian chicken with diced tomatoes, zucchini, frozen peppers and onions, and fresh spices. I make ground turkey chili the week I need a little extra iron (if you know what I mean). Buffalo chicken is so easy- just buffalo sauce (check the sugar content in your favorite brand) with a scoop of garlic. Stuffed peppers are good too, but I usually stick to the green peppers for cost sake. I always look at the pack of three multi-colored peppers and think how pretty they look, then my wallet takes over and says $4?!?!?! No way!!!

My lunches feel more like suppers, but they also help curb my afternoon cravings. And my suppers tend to be pretty quick and simple. We get home around 4:45, and my kids are usually ready for supper around 4:47. And if you think you’ll get bored, freeze some chicken one week, and trade it for the chili the next.

For my chicken, I usually buy the bulk package. For about $10 of chicken, I get two weeks of lunches for myself with a few extra for my husband.

4. Staple Fresh Veggies

My son likes carrots and cucumbers. My daughter likes celery and cucumbers. So most weeks I buy carrots, celery, and cucumbers. I have some for my mid-day snacks and some for my kids with supper (often on their pizza night). I can usually get all three for under $5 and I know we will eat it with no waste.

If I get bored with the veggies, I add natural peanut butter or make my own ranch dressing with Greek yogurt. Speaking of natural peanut butter, take a look at the store brands. Walmart and Aldi’s store brands are usually less than other store brands regular peanut butter.

5. Freeze Your Own Seasonal Fruits

Last week I was shopping with my son. He wanted his favorite fruit- strawberries. I gasped. $5 a pound?!?!?! I told him right there that I don’t pay $5 for two pounds of strawberries, and I certainly wasn’t paying $5 for one pound! He whined a bit until we found a three-pound bag of apples for $2. I did make him really smile when we got home and I made him a smoothie using the strawberries I had in the freezer though.

Being a teacher, I have the kids home with me during the summer, so I tend to over-buy fruits for the sake of variety. I always take what’s left and freeze it. So when Sweet Boy is not being so sweet because his favorite fruit is too expensive, I can still give him some of his favorite treats.

So those are my strategies for eating healthy. If you like real recipes, I do have a few on my Old Mom Recipes Pinterest Board:

[fts_pinterest type=single_board_pins pinterest_name=jenlala76 board_id=old-mom-recipes pins_count=6]

Photo by rwkvisual

Photo by Pakus Futuro Bloguero

Facebook Comments Box

December 30, 2017January 1, 2018

#29- No More New Year’s Resolutions

This year I will not be teaching my kids to make New Year’s Resolutions. There will be no grand gesture to stop bickering, clean our rooms more often or eat more veggies. I know it’s tradition, but here’s why it’s not going to be our tradition.

Change is good. Self-Improvement is good. But it has to happen when a person is ready. A drug addict does not succeed in rehab unless they really want to be there. A healthy exercise plan does not work if the person isn’t truly dedicated to what they are doing. And the same is true for children.

I want my children to have a healthy relationship with themselves. All their strengths and weaknesses are a part of what makes them unique. What I really want for them is to learn to use their strengths and weaknesses to become successful adults.

Could Sweet Boy resolve to be friendlier in 2018? Sure, but strangers make him very uncomfortable. And with his great number skills, I could see him being a great accountant or programmer someday where he doesn’t have to work with strangers a lot. Could Girlie resolve to be less bossy in 2018? She could, but she’s actually really good at communicating what she wants and that could translate into her being a great leader.

As for cleaning their rooms, eating their vegetables and bickering less- we worked on all those things in December, and we’ll still be working on them in February. They are not just January goals. As they grow older, they will realize that a clean room makes it easier to find their toys, their tummies feel better when they eat their vegetables and kind words are more effective than bickering words. They will realize those things when they are ready and hopefully they will commit to those basic concepts at some point. I’m quite sure it will be because they really want to not because the calendar tells them it is time to make resolutions.

Wishing everyone a happy and healthy 2018.

Photo by marcoverch

[fts_instagram instagram_id=6771326436 pics_count=6 type=user profile_wrap=no super_gallery=yes columns=3 force_columns=no space_between_photos=1px icon_size=65px hide_date_likes_comments=no]

Facebook Comments Box

December 28, 2017January 11, 2018

Top 5 Argument Busters

As a parent, one of the most frustrating times of a day is when the kids are arguing. One minute they are playing nicely and the next Girlie is screeching over the last red Lego. Breakfast is going smoothly until Sweet Boy realizes that Girlie has his second favorite Star Wars character on their waffle. Or sometimes, just the way Girlie mispronounces a word sends Sweet Boy into a huge fit. When you have kids, arguments happen. Here are my top five argument busters.

Note: I didn’t put TV or technology on the list, but I’m not above using it. I just wanted to share some more original thoughts.

1. Show them pictures:

For whatever reason, my kids love to look at old pictures of themselves. They like to see themselves in baby clothes, and playing with baby toys. It also serves as a reminder to Sweet Boy that Girlie is two years younger than him. You just can’t expect her to talk like a four-year-old.

It also gives them a distraction from whatever they were arguing about and a chance to snuggle up with Mommy or Daddy. And let’s face it- the arguments happen more when the kids are tired so a little snuggle time can be some great argument medicine.

2. Play-doh

A change of activity is a great way to distract the kids from a sharing type argument. I like to go to a Play-doh activity. The kneading and shaping of the dough is a very calming activity. It lets some of the tension go from their hands so they can refocus.

3. Laurie Berkner

I picked up a lot of CDs from an old daycare teacher. I actually had my eye on a few of the other CDs in the lot to use in my music classroom. Well, one day the kids were fighting in the car and I had the Laurie Berkner CD leftover on the front seat of my car. I popped it in and the kids were instantly enthralled. The songs are super catchy and kid-friendly. Even two-year-old Girlie can sing along with most of the songs on the CD. I use this CD anytime the kids start arguing in the car. Five months later, they still ask for it every day.

4. Make a calm down bottle

There are hundreds of pins on Pinterest for how to make a calm down bottle. Girlie made one with rice and lots of different craft supply leftovers for her to find. Sweet Boy made a glittery shake-up bottle. Much like the Play-doh, the shaking of the bottles helps release some of the tension the kids are feeling. You can find a few calm down bottle ideas on my Old Mom Craft Pinterest Board.

5. Food

We have a lot of arguments happen at 11:30 and at 4:30. Right before meal time. The kids are hungry and they get cranky. For these times, I try to give them a drink while I’m prepping their lunch or dinner. I really hate to spoil their supper with a snack right before their healthy meal, but sometimes I cave. Sometimes I give them fruit. Sometimes it’s a freeze pop. And sometimes its a handful of marshmallow or chocolate chips. But the reality is they are too hungry to get along and I can’t cook while they are screaming at each other.

I hope some of these ideas help you when your kids argue. It’s going to happen. As parents, we just have to be prepared for when it does happen.

Photo by meghan_siegers

Lyft promo code — New passengers get $20 credit towards your first four Lyft ride with promo code OLD MOM, click now to save!

Facebook Comments Box

December 27, 2017December 28, 2017

#28 – The Broken Glass

When I turned 30, I was desperately single. I had tried online dating sites with no luck. I worked in an elementary school with lots of older married women with kids in their teens and early twenties. 30 and single really hit me hard.

To top it off, many of my friends from college and cousins were getting married. So had my little brother. For every wedding, I bought a traditional shower gift. Towels, dishes, glasses, bakeware. I bought them all, and I really put a lot of thought into each gift. I really wanted to get each person something they would really use and enjoy. But the dishes became something mystical to me. Having the big wedding and the fancy glasses seemed to represent happiness and the perfect life. First came the glasses, then the big house, then the family. It sounds irrational to me now, but sad, 30-year-old Jen really felt that way.

So when I turned 30, I made a huge impulse buy. I went to Crate & Barrel and bought myself about $75 worth of water glasses and $50 worth of wine glasses. For a teacher who had just bought a condo, it was a big purchase. But 30 meant that I was not going to wait for my prince to get my fancy glasses.

The drinking glasses were so cool. Double insulated to prevent condensation. I only used them when company came. When it was just me, I used my clearance rack ice tea cups. And the wine glasses were so delicate. You could feel the fancy in your hand when you picked them up.

Fast forward 12 years.

Today I was washing dishes in my tiny kitchen. I put away the strainer in a very crowded cupboard right about the sink. And down came my smoothie cup, right on top of one of my super water glasses.

Smash!

Double insulated broken glass pieces everywhere. I called for my husband to help me clean it up and asked him if that was the last one. He reassured me that there was still one left.

In the seven years or so that we’ve known each other, we’ve lost about one glass a year. It got me thinking. We didn’t actually get any fancy glasses when we got married. Most of my friends and family focused on the cooking things. Casserole dishes, pots, and pans, baking dishes. They knew I loved to cook and at 36, most of the things I bought at 22 needed to be replaced. We got nice green towels to replace my very girlie purple towels and light blue sheets to replace my pink ones. While my husband liked my super soft towels and sheets, he really appreciated the new gender-neutral colors. My friends and family put the same thought and consideration into gifting that I had for them. And they knew I wasn’t really a “fancy glass” kind of girl.

And here we are. A small, but comfortable house, two great kids and very happy. We are down to one fancy water glass. The delicate wine glasses are wrapped in the basement because there just isn’t room for them in our little kitchen. But still, we found the magic without the fancy glasses.

Photo by fred_v

Facebook Comments Box

December 20, 2017

The Old Mom 5 Favorite Christmas Traditions

Merry Christmas Old Mom Readers. We are only 5 days away from Santa’s arrival, so I thought I’d share with you some of our family favorite traditions.

#1- Decorate the Tree

We have an artificial tree, so we can really go grab it from the basement and put it up anytime we want. But I really like to do it on Thanksgiving weekend. As a teacher, the four-day weekend is so relaxing and we can take the time to enjoy it. The kids get excited to see the old ornaments that Santa brought them in previous years as well as the ornaments they made for me and daddy. I get nostalgic seeing ornaments made by former students as well. Some years I bake cookies for us to enjoy. Some years it’s hot chocolate. But we always make it special.

#2- Christmas Lights

I absolutely adore Christmas lights. I grew up near La Salette Shrine in Attleboro, MA. They do a huge display every year that people travel from all over New England to come see. The manger, the snowflakes, the candy canes – all lit up in brilliant colors. I want my kids to know that same overwhelming awe when they see a great display of lights. For the last few years, we have taken them to see Amarante’s Winter Wonderland. A local family creates an amazing display in their yard and opens it up for the public to walk around and enjoy. This year they were featured on ABC’s The Great Christmas Light Fight and they won!!! The Amarante’s do a lot of collections for local charities so our yearly trip is also a great chance to show the kids about charity.

We also love driving around and seeing all of the displays that our neighbors put up. When we are driving home from work and daycare and the kids are being less-than angelic, all I have to do is call out, “Christmas Lights,” and they stop bickering and turn to see what kind of display is up. I wish that worked all year long.

#3- Toys for Tots

For the last two years, I have taken Sweet Boy to the store, handed him $20 and had him pick out a gift for Toys for Tots. I tell him to get something that a boy his age would really like. I also tell him the toy is for a little boy who doesn’t have a lot of toys at home and we are helping Santa give that boy an extra special Christmas. He picks something out and we bring it over to a local collection. I introduce him to the police officers who run it (Sweet Boy usually hides behind my back) and we head back home. Next year I’ll try it with both kids, but Girlie is just too young to handle it right now.

I really try to teach the kids now that Christmas is not just about getting ALL THE TOYS!!! We need to give too and appreciate what we have. And I think the younger we start, the more natural it becomes.

#4- Jingles

We are an Elf on the Shelf family. Jingles arrives every year on the morning after we put up our Christmas Tree. On that first day, he brings the kids new Santa jammies, a new Christmas themed book and a new ornament from the tree, as well as a note from Santa. I like to have Jingles bring these things now, because, quite frankly, December in New England is cold and they need warm jammies. Plus, they get to enjoy all the new Christmas-themed gifts in the lead up to Christmas. Trust me, as soon as that calendar turns, Sweet Boy is getting ready for his February birthday.

Jingles is not terribly messy, as some elves can be. I think Santa must have sent me this special elf because he knows my own little elves are messy enough. But he hides all over the house, and on weekends he brings the kids Christmas crafty stuff to do. This weekend he brought coloring books. (I wonder if that will keep the kids quiet while Daddy watches the football game?)

#5- Family Time

Some years, our family gatherings get squeezed into one or two days and some years they get spread out. Either way, there is always lots of family time around Christmas. I usually do Christmas morning brunch. We visit my in-laws where my two are the only littles and everyone laughs at every cute little thing they do. And when we visit my mom and siblings, the six little cousins run around screaming and showing off their new presents from Santa. And then there’s the big one. My cousins and all their kids usually get together at my uncle’s house after Christmas. I was one of 12 cousins. Together we have 27 kids (although the older ones are no longer kids). Some of us have moved to other parts of the country and can’t always be there, but we always try. The food is always amazing. The wine is always flowing. And there is usually Patriots football on a giant TV somewhere.

So these are just a few of my family’s Christmas traditions. I’d love to hear about some of yours. Comment below to share some great ideas.

Photo by Sam Howzit

Facebook Comments Box