I really started feeling like an old mom after #2 arrived. I was up every night with Girlie and Sweet Boy was not taking any naps unless it was in the car. Certain things got left behind, like hair cuts, makeup, cooking. My husband helped, but he also had a very time-consuming job working 60 and 70 hour weeks.
It was at Girlie’s 3-month check-up that I first got asked if I was her grandmother. I was 39 and at the moment I looked like hell. I might have showered. Or not. I might have combed my hair. Or not. I probably had spit-up on me, but the question is really was it on my shirt, shorts or both. I was mortified, but I was just too tired to give the woman a piece of my mind.
A quick side thought– at the time of this appointment, the local hospital had just relocated the pediatric office to the same floor as the OB/GYN. I don’t think I was good advertising for the OB at that moment.
Turning insult into insight
When I got home, I started thinking about my friends who are close to 40. Altogether, we had kids of all ages, from infants to college. And there were some with no kids at all. So I reminded myself to be grateful. Grateful for the chance to be a loving mommy to two sweet kids–even if I did look like a grandmother.
Every family has their own traditions. One of ours is going to the Woodstock Fair, which has been held every Labor Day Weekend since 1860 in Woodstock, Conn.
The year my husband and I met, 2010, we were both at the fair, but we didn’t know it. I went for the music and the crafts. He went for the Ceremonial Native Americing Dancing that Boy Scout Troop 25 from Putnam has performed since long before hubby was a boy in the troop. We hadn’t known each other yet and we didn’t see each other at the fair, but we were both there.
In 2011, we were announcing our engagement to local friends at the Fair. In 2012, we were indulging in my early pregnancy cravings. Seriously, the only root beer float I’ve ever had was at the Woodstock Fair, while I was preggo with Sweet Boy. A few days before Labor Day weekend 2013 was Sweet Boy’s first case of croup. But the steroids had helped him feel better pretty quickly and we introduced the little guy to many friends at the Fair.
Friday Funday
Sweet Boy really started enjoying the Fair in 2014. That year I discovered the absolute best time to go to the Fair with young kids–Friday morning. The Woodstock Fair is open, but definitely not crowded. The animals, crafts, giant vegetables are all on display and easy to view. The food vendors are getting fired up. You walk into the smell of barbecue meats grilling, fresh kettle corn popping, apple crisp baking. For a food lover, it is absolutely intoxicating. The vendors are happy to talk to you about their crafts and their process because they aren’t swamped with customers. That year I was newly pregnant with Girlie and once again, but this time the heat and the fried food made me pretty queasy.
2015 was a huge development in our family’s love of the fair. I took both kids on Friday to see the agriculture displays, but later the weekend, all 4 of us went and Sweet Boy discovered his favorite part of the fair– the rides. Yes, at just 2-1/2 he was tall enough to try the kiddy rides (he’s still a giant). The train, the carousel, the tea cups– he loved them all.
Silly Old Mom memory– Survivor headlined that year. Half my friends thought the TV show, the other half thought the band. It was the band.
Woodstock Fair 2017
This year we enjoyed our yearly Friday morning trip, and it became a play date with some of Sweet Boy’s friends. Everything is just so friendly. A nice woman helped Sweet Boy wash his hands in the bathroom while I helped Girlie. We had a yarn spinner explain to the kids how she makes yarn from sheep wool and a weaver show them how she makes her fabrics. They climbed on the tractors (despite Old Mom reminding them to look with their eyes, not their hands). And at least half of the food vendors are from local organizations doing their yearly fundraisers. Booster clubs, Lions Clubs, Student Councils, Fire Departments. They all come together as a community to create a memorable event for visitors near and far. As I’m writing this, we are getting ready to go back for Day 2. Sweet Boy is too excited to put his socks on, and Girlie is babbling about getting a blue slushie from Daddy’s friends at the local Scout Camp‘s vendor booth and singing “The Animal Fair.”
And when we returned home from the fair, we had two very tired and happy kiddos. They loved the rides, the ginormous vegetables, the food, the Native American Dancing show, the children’s play area (can I just say- brilliant!!! Give the kiddos a spot for some quiet play so they can last a bit longer for the day). We saw friends from t-ball, day care, and scouting. We supported local agriculture, artisan vendors, churches, schools groups, and scout groups.
At just 4 years old, my son looks forward to the Woodstock Fair every year. My daughter will be talking about this weekend for weeks. This Fair will be a part of our family for many, many years to come.
#2 did not take long to join us (much like her brother). As an older mom, I am eternally grateful that I did not struggle with fertility issues. And I’m always sending prayers for those of you who are struggling.
We had a date night scheduled and I decided to take a test a few days early. Really, I wanted to know if I should have some wine or not. I looked at that stick, and there she was.
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of Advanced Maternal Age
For this pregnancy, I was definitely on the ADVANCED MATERNAL AGE track. Sweet Boy’s early arrival also added to the extra care I received. There was no medical explanation for my water breaking early, so the doctors watched for everything. I was at the office at least 3 times a month. Some parts of the extra care were wonderful, but some were not. I loved being eligible for the 13 week DNA blood test. It was so cool to tell people that we were having a girl right away. The weekly hormone shots in the bum–not so cool.
My husband was the one to administer them. As much as I didn’t like getting the shots, I’m pretty sure that, joking aside, he liked giving them to me even less. Having an ultrasound every two weeks to watch our baby girl grow– awesome. Cervix checks every two weeks–not so awesome.
Honestly, being pregnant with a toddler in tow was not as tough as you might think. Sweet Boy had such an easy going temperament. He sat quietly in his stroller during all my appointments with nothing more than PBS kids on my phone and a few goldfish. His asthma did start to show up that winter, but he was so cuddly when he was sick that I didn’t mind. Plus, he was excited for his new sister to arrive. I could already tell what a good big brother he was going to be.
Thankfully, there were only a few minor issues with my second pregnancy. I needed a C-section because you just can’t fit a 15 cm head through a 5 cm hole, but Girlie arrived safely and healthy at just under 10 pounds.
I didn’t feel like an old mom at all. Yeah, I could totally handle this. (Can you hear 41-year-old me laughing at 39-year-old me?)
Today is the last day of my summer vacation. On Monday, I will be back to work teaching music every day, while my kids will be back to their lovely home daycare with their friends and their second family. As a tribute to this time with my kiddos, I thought I would share with all of you a few of my favorite kid quotes from this summer. Things that really made me laugh. My apologies if the language offends anyone.
Great Kid Quotes
Sweet Boy: “If I have to go to the doctor’s office, can I go to the one near Dave and Busters?”
Girlie ( a huge Blue’s Clue’s fan): We just got an e-mail, “We just an e-mail. We just got an e-mail. I wonder who it’s from.” (Are you singing it too?)
Sweet Boy: (during my new workout video): “Mommy, I don’t have to shake it do I?”
Sweet Boy (I made meat sauce instead of sauce and meatballs): “Can you use some frosting to put the meat into meatballs?”
Girlie at lunch (What I heard): “He has boobies. I have an ass hole.” (What she actually said): “He has blueberries. I have an apple.”
Girlie: “Mommy, You went tinkles on the potty! Good job! I’m so proud of you.”
And my favorite quote of the summer from Sweet Boy: “Mommy, we’re hooking things. That means we’re hookers.”
And there you have it. If you ever feel overwhelmed with the challenges of being an old mom, a young mom, a step-mom, a fur mom or any kind other kind of mom, remember the little moments. The laughter, the hugs, watching them grow up into good people– there’s nothing like it.
When I was 34, I was ready to give up. I was still single and pretty hopeless that I would meet someone in time to start a family. I had contacted the state services to look into becoming a foster parent so I wouldn’t completely miss out on parenthood. Love could come in my 50s. Starting parenthood could not.
The foster parent paperwork came in September. Later that month I met him. The one. We both loved the outdoors, Boston Sports, family-style events. I was immediately hooked. 9 months after our first date we were engaged. 9 months after that we were married, and 9 months after that our son was born (he was 5 weeks early if that really matters to you). #1 was born 4 days before I turned 37. And just like that, both a 6 pound, 11-ounce little boy and an old mom were born.
> So who am I? My name is Jen and I’ve been an elementary school music teacher for nearly 20 years. I had my two kids just before I turned 40. I think my age has a lot to do with my sense of parenthood. Some days I feel jealous, some days I feel insightful, but most days I just feel tired.
I needed a project this summer, so I wrote. I wrote during nap times, after the kids went to bed, or when the kids were playing nicely outside for 5 minutes at a time. It was my therapy because being a mom is hard. And when your 2 and 4-year-old are arguing over who gets the last blue freeze pop or who gets the yellow ball and who gets the red, you need to remind yourself not just of all the joys, but that all the challenges pass. There are always new challenges, but there are always new joys too.
I hope our family stories make you laugh or think or just remember to appreciate your family. Always. On the best days, and on the toughest days. Thanks for reading.
or who gets the yellow ball and who gets the red, you need to remind yourself not just of all the joys, but that all the challenges pass. There are always new challenges, but there are always new joys too.