The summer after Girlie turned one, I went for my physical. My doctor is a kind, but pushy older woman who switched from OB/GYN to family practice. When I went in and she saw my labs and my face, she let me have it. I had been neglecting self-care.
Four years of being pregnant and breastfeeding had taken its toll on my body and at 40 it’s much harder to recover. I had multiple vitamin deficiencies and my anxiety was clearly out of control. She got me on the right supplements and we had a long talk about how hard motherhood is. It’s emotional, exhausting and demanding. Then put together a sick boy, an energetic and adventurous little girl, a husband who works 60-80 hours a week and a 40 year old body that is on a hormonal roller coaster without any fuel.
I needed to stop expecting myself to feel normal and start asking for more help. My husband stepped up as much as he could. We both just assumed I had been so tired because I didn’t get enough sleep. Neither of us realized how out of balance my body had become. He would take Sweet Boy to some of his family-style work outings so I could rest while Girlie napped. He helped pick up a little more around the house. We made it work so I could truly recover.
Finding Jen
I starting finding a few projects that would make me happy. I started painting the inside of our new house. My husband looked at me like I was nuts every time I enjoyed a newly finished room. But the calmness of our now buttery rooms made me feel so much better than the chaos of our rainbow rooms. (Seriously, mint green, mauve, lavender, yellow and aquamarine all on one floor.) I fixed up our gardens. I had never been a gardener, but we had them, and it made me feel better to learn something new and bring some beauty to our yard. (Always keep learning. It’s good for your soul.) It felt so good to bring some sense of order and beauty to the chaos that had been the previous three years. And it felt amazing to give myself the time to do something to make myself happy.
So moms, take care of yourselves. Listen to your body. Give yourself some personal time. Trust me. I spent three years giving my all to my kids and taking zero time for myself. I hit rock bottom physically and emotionally. But I’m on my way back. One flower, one painted room, one workout, one diary at a time.
